All posts by Freelance Autist

Freelance’s Bongo Bongo Bookclub: Now I Hate Lames 3 (Part Three; OH NO! BABY!)

I stayed up till 2AM and all I have to show for it is this subpar episode of a podcast!

Joining me tonight is the Bongo Bongo Bookclub equivalent of the Midnight Society (ONLY 90’S KIDS WILL GET THIS) as we join together for what essentially could be labeled ‘Black Fart Porn with Hard Gore’. Don’t eat before you listen to tonight’s episode, lads. You are very likely to vomit.

Also a huge thanks to AnotherBadGoy for taking the reigns to record this weeks episode on a moments notice. If it wasn’t for you this episode wouldn’t have been released, and I might have still had a strand of dignity left, good work, m8.

The music that was used in this weeks episode is as follows:

Intro: Andrew Sisters & Danny Kaye – Civilization (Bongo Bongo Bongo)
Intermission: Dance With The Dead – That House
Outro: DONBOR – Against The Law

Freelance’s Bongo Bongo Bookclub: Now I Hate Lames 3 (Part Two; The Wrath of the Ox!)

Every time we record this show on the discord; I think to myself ‘Wow, this can’t get any worse than it is right now’. And every week after we some how manage to set the bar of absurd shit even lower; I love it. I fucking love it.

This weeks episode has us spinning even further into madness; and into miscarriages faster than an a flying negro pyramid into the sun. Joining me are my usual chucklefucks (Some more dedicated listeners may have noticed I’ve stopped listing them by name in the description) and a familiar old fan.

Join us as we settle domestic abuse the good old fashioned way, through rape and screaming autistically about ‘The Ox’. Meanwhile Mushroom decides to share his entire Death Grips collection with us by playing it in the background, as well as some fucking weebshit. I constantly ask myself why I outsourced my recording shit to Mexico.

The music that was used in this weeks episode is as follows:

Intro: Andrew Sisters & Danny Kaye – Civilization (Bongo Bongo Bongo)
Intermission: NightStop – Ghoul (lmfao)
Outro: The Encounter – Behemoth IV

Freelance’s Bongo Bongo Bookclub: He exposed me to the Real, Now I hate lames 3 (Part One: dem ducks)

https://soundcloud.com/reelanceutist/freelances-bongo-bongo-bookclub-he-exposed-me-to-the-real-now-i-hate-lames-3-part-one-dem-ducks

Bongo Bongo Breaktime is finally over; just in time to get absolutely shitfaced in 110F weather! Fuck yeah!

In this season of Bongo Bongo Bookclub we’re gathering together to read (another) masterpiece from urban literature queen Natavia Stewart. Natavia has written countless series of books but for this season we’ve picked out a gem among her treasure trove called; ‘He exposed me to the Real, Now I hate Lames 3’.

Following a similar format as Street Divas and Thugs Cry 2, each chapter we read will be following one specific character in particular as they strive to find love in the cold, cold ghetto streets of Maryland. So sit back; crack open a cold one with the boys(male) and enjoy! Oh, and Mushroom Monarch reads some Evola at the end or some gay shit.

The music that was used in this weeks episode is as follows:

Intro: Andrew Sisters & (((Danny Kaye))) – Civilization (Bongo Bongo Bongo)
Intermission: NightStop – Streetwalker
Outro: d.notive – Red Light Syndrome

All Credit for recording and editing in this weeks episode goes to Mushroom Monarch; he’s gone above and beyond for me and I highly endorse his Latino Music Podcast ‘The Reichsmusik Chamber’
@mushroom_monarch

If you’d like to join us during one of our recordings; feel free to join us on our Bongo Bongo Discord.
discord.gg/YrzXMr4

Freelance’s Bongo Bongo Bookclub: THE LOST EPISODE/ Q&A #3 (Dingleberries and Dental Dams)

https://soundcloud.com/reelanceutist/freelances-bongo-bongo-bookclub-the-lost-episode-qa-3-dingleberries-and-dental-dams

I cobbled this episode together in about fifteen minutes after a month of doing ABSOLUTELY. FUCKING. ‘NOTHING’.

But either way duty calls; we’ve got a fuckload of pressing questions from you, adoring fans; as well as another underground literary hit to read courtesy of one of the famous ‘Young Hwhytes’ G-Man (pls cum back 2 us, bby)

Since we’ve been gone for so long I’ve added a bit more music for your pleasure. Just as well we’ve got more planned ahead so be ready for us to return to our usual upload schedule shortly.

The music that was used in this weeks episode is as follows:

Intro: Andrew Sisters & (((Danny Kaye))) – Civilization (Bongo Bongo Bongo)
Technical Difficulties Music: ECO VIRTUAL 大気研究音楽l – McDonalds Breakfast
Intermission #1: ALEX – Youth ft. Rachel McAlpine
Intermission #2: Daniel Deluxe – Darkness
Outro: Delacroix — 1984

Freelance’s Bongo Bongo Bookclub: Welfare Wifey’s (END; Mysterious Fecal Matter)

You people waited over a ‘month’ for this shit?

So, after a month long hiatus, or as what most shitskins in the cold, cold ghetto streets would call it; ‘precious ass sittin’ time’. I’ve finally mustered up the agency to get drunk enough while recording to actually make content. We’ve got all star-line up which caused me to cut at least ‘twenty minutes’ of material out, because Noah Missourian was spending a lot of time trying to suck Florian Geyer off; but I’m a bigger man, so rather than cutting out anything Florian said; I’m just going to permanently ban him from my podcast for stealing the show. Gotta be humble, fam.

Joining us tonight, a bunch of fucking idiots…
Of Reichsmusik Chamber ””fame””: Mushroom Monarch
Of Twitter Thot fame: Profane Grill
Of Northern State fame: Noah Missourian
Of being a temporary recording slave, and total fuckboi fame: Myne1001
Of Mysterious Poo-Poo fame: Florian Geyer (AKA; Mr. Schismatic)
Of Mumbling Weeb fame: Jarl_Ballin’
and of Dima-Squad fame: Uncle Dima himself!

Join us as we make complete fucking asses out of ourselves, as we show that we are incapable of reading a book without getting sidetracked on run-off conversations that last for twenty minutes.

You won’t laugh, you might cry, you’ll probably pass gas at one point or another, and you’ll likely join Myne in contemplating suicide; all this and more on this episode’s Bongo Bongo!

The music that was used in this weeks episode is as follows:

Intro: Andrew Sisters & Danny Kaye – Civilization (Bongo Bongo Bongo)
Technical Difficulties Music: ECO VIRTUAL 大気研究音楽 – IKEA FERNS
Intermission: Lueur Verte – Emerald Rising
Outro: VHS Dreams – Nightdrive

Additional Notes:
– Heidrich isn’t gone; I feel I need to stress that, he’s just getting some shit in meat-space sorted out, I’m pretty confident he’ll come back; he knows he is my hype man and main nigga
– Next episode will be our Q&A Episode, please send any questions or fan-mail to [email protected] for a chance for your commentary to be read on our show
– I’ve decided to cut back on drinking after this episode; as I honestly don’t remember half of it, and found myself embarrassed by the shit I heard.

Freelance and Heidrich’s Bongo Bongo Bookclub: Welfare Wifey’s (Part Nine; Hotline Harlem)

We accidentally got together and made an accidental episode about how our accidental sons some how accidentally managed to become so accidentally cool!

Meanwhile, Heidrich is holding a gun to my head and ranting about how he won’t be ‘fucked by Chechen dog’ again as he ‘demands’ me to rename my show! Unfortunately for him, I’m pretty sure I’ve got Ashkenazi blood in me somewhere and I already had plans of jewing him into only one episode of such a horrible idea.

Joining myself and my trusty (Even if he is suffering from PTSD) co-host Heidrich Babbyburger tonight are:
Of Reichsmusik Chamber fame: Mushroom Monarch, and Badtanman (who?)
Of Jew Hunting Fame: Eli Mosley
Of Thottery Fame: hadernaners
Of Monstergirl Shitposting Fame: Hazzard McCree

Join us tonight as we come together to debate what it ‘really’ means to suck a mans dick with ice-cubes in your mouth, as well as how it was possible for Malika’s gay son to become so cool in a span of only two-chapters. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll mistake the McDonald’s™ Corporate Headquarters for a toilet. All this and more on this weeks Bongo Bongo!

The music that was used in this weeks episode is as follows:

Intro: Andrew Sisters & Danny Kaye – Civilization (Bongo Bongo Bongo)
Intermission: John Maus – Cop Killer
Outro: NY Vice – Smooth Steering

On an additional note: We’re planning a Black Movie Night to send off Black History Month! Expect more details to come, and make sure you stock up on some popcorn and malt liquor.

Freelance’s Bongo Bongo Bookclub: Welfare Wifey’s (Part Eight; Valentine’s Day Fuckstravaganza)

I can’t believe I stopped edging for this shit.

Big show lined up for everyone; we’ve got four particularly arousing chapters from K’wan’s masterpizza. Hopefully the music will do well to fuel your romantic ball-slapping and wife-beating.

Joining myself and my trust co-host Heidrich tonight are:
Of Pizza Delivery Fame: Brad Small
Of Interning and NSFW Minecraft Modding Fame: Myne1001
Of Berkley Riots fame: Sirius Jones

Join us tonight as we discuss the finer points of selling crack cocaine door-to-door, as well as smuggling some menthol cigarettes to D’Marcus’ mother in the retirement home. All this and more on this weeks Bongo Bongo!

The music that was used in this weeks episode is as follows:

Intro: Andrew Sisters & Danny Kaye – Civilization (Bongo Bongo Bongo)
Intermission #1: Tyler Lyle – Lost & Found (The Midnight Remix)
Intermission #2: Le Cassette – This Is All We Know
Outro: Mitch Murder – After Hours Run

Freelance’s Bongo Bongo Bookclub: Welfare Wifey’s (Part Seven: Anxiety in the Applebee’s™

After an intense week of drama and an odd lack of proper negro literature; we’re finally fucking back! And behind schedule again to boot! Go figure!

Joining me tonight is a leather studded line-up of special degenerates all coming together to partake in a pleasant lunch at Applebee’s™
Of Chechen Civil War fame: Heidrich Babenberger
Of Angry Frog™ fame: Hazzard McCree
Of Imitation Texan fame: The Missourian
Of Discord fame: TheDriver
Also joining us for maybe two minutes: GeorgeRockwell (PBUH)

Join us as we take a ruck into the wilds of Harlem to observe negro mating rituals, fistfights in welfare offices, all this as we fight over the greasy buffalo wing leftovers of the Don-Don. All this and more on this weeks Bongo Bongo!

The music that was used in this weeks episode is as follows:

Intro: Andrew Sisters & Danny Kaye – Civilization (Bongo Bongo Bongo)
Intermission: Highway Superstar – Splash
Outro: FM-84 – Arcade Summer